Too Many Bikes – Bike Snob NYC


Are the mountain bikers lastly gone? Can we discuss them once more? Nice.

I’ve been driving–and even racing–mountain bikes on trails for many years now, and but for some purpose when mountain bikers come on my weblog they bro-splain to me that I’m not a mountain biker. That is odd, particularly when you think about that I’ve additionally been driving–and even racing–street bikes for many years now, and making glib and sarcastic statements about different individuals who do too, similar to I do about mountain bikers, and but no one has ever come on right here and accused me of not being a roadie. This alone would appear to be proof that for all of the accusations of snobbery which have been heaped upon them through the years, so-called “roadies” are merely higher individuals. Ergo ispo facto any air of superiority a roadie might exude is subsequently completely justified.

Anyway, other than the web comportment of its practitioners, probably the most annoying factor about mountain biking is the bikes. Not solely are they foolish and bouncy, however there are just too a lot of them:

Pathetic. They don’t even have downcountry on there! And in case you’re questioning what a “downcountry” bike is, the reply is that I don’t know and I don’t care.

I’ll concede that the mountain bikers do have some extent, since if having the ability to parse the ten various kinds of mountain bikes (not together with downcountry bikes) is what makes you a mountain biker than I’m undoubtedly not a mountain biker. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THESE DIFFERENT TYPES OF MOUNTAIN BIKES. Once in a while on the Desert Hipster web site they get some man on there who writes 6,000 phrases on some Craftmatic adjustable mattress on wheels and the way it’s subtly totally different from another Craftmatic adjustable mattress on wheels that belongs in a completely totally different class as a result of it has 10mm much less journey, and by the third sentence my eyes glaze over and I begin studying one thing extra participating as an alternative, like Ikea directions. Give me a easy bike that works on trails and can be good for driving to the paths and that’s all of the mountain bike I actually need or want. (Although I’m not above throwing a 30 year-old twin suspension bike in THE CAR THAT I OWN every now and then.)

I suppose for this reason I rode singlespeed mountain bikes just about solely for a few years. (Though they’re admittedly horrible for the “driving to the paths” half.) There was a time once I did make a token effort to concentrate to these items, however then I began driving a singlespeed and I checked out utterly. Nevertheless, as I grinded away on my singlespeed, I used to be vaguely conscious that the kind of mountain bike I had been driving was more and more seen as type of a specialty machine, or an “XC bike,” to differentiate it from the more and more motocross-like bikes that have been coming into trend with the drive-to-the-ride set, like freeride bikes. (No matter occurred to these, anyway? I assume they only broke that up into like sixteen new classes?) Certainly, after awhile it appeared just like the XC bike had gone so deeply out of trend that you just solely noticed them in UCI races–although now they’re coming again, not less than in line with one publication:

Additional to yesterday’s discourse on normality, I suppose we now have to elucidate what regular, non-watermelon-humping mountain biking is:


Cross-country mountain biking locations a higher emphasis on velocity and distance, quite than steep and technical descents. Many XC programs and trails characteristic undulating terrain, a mixture of technical climbs and descents, steep corners, and flatter sections that require cardiovascular health and endurance. In contrast to downhill mountain biking, which is primarily characterised by jumps, steep sections, rock and root gardens, and different options that require extra complicated technical descending talents, XC combines a various vary of path options and circumstances.


However in fact they solely like XC bikes as a result of they’re changing into extra like watermelon-humping bikes:


As cross-country programs grow to be extra aggressive, World Cup professionals go for 4-piston brakes, 2.4” tires, and full-sized dropper posts. This development within the sport calls for extra from the bikes and elements. On account of this demand, XC is slowly changing into extra aligned with path driving, and I believe it’s incredible.


So in order for you what an XC bike was once (which was primarily a standard mountain bike for regular mountain biking) you need to get a gravel bike pricey god simply kill me now:

See, you need to go “farther and sooner” on unpaved surfaces, proper? What was completely enough just some years in the past is now thought of “underbiking.” (DEAR LOB I HATE THAT TERM.) Which means on the very least you want twin suspension.

Perhaps subsequent they need to put flat bars on it for higher management on technical terrain, then they’ll actually be onto one thing. The may name it a “mountain bike.” And the cycle shall start anew. It’s the massive bang and the massive crunch, over and again and again.

Not that street bikes are any totally different nowadays. We’ve obtained not less than 4 totally different varieties:

Sorry, make that six:

Wait, sorry, it’s eight:

You understand, you can simply knock out all these classes with simply three bikes:

And even that’s being beneficiant.

Is it any shock I discover myself trying wistfully into the previous? Once I was on the Marin Museum of Bicycling lately, Grant Petersen loaded me up with some classic periodicals:

As of late it appears you’re beset by watermelon-humpers from all sides, so it’s refreshing to move your self to a time when bunnyhopping was thought of “superior approach,” adverts touted “peace within the wilds” and “the supreme satisfaction of self achievement” as an alternative of motors, and debates raged over toe clips vs. bear traps, or right-front vs. left-front braking:

Once I did the cylocrossing I used to set my bikes up with right-front braking, however not for any of the explanations under:

Moderately, I did so as a result of I used to be advised by somebody very smart that while you dismount the bike from the left, if it is advisable modulate your velocity you naturally achieve this with the left-hand brake lever, and also you don’t need that activating the entrance brake as a result of in case you do this and the bike’s unweighted it’s simple for the rear wheel to pop up.

I used to be by no means almost aggressive sufficient for this to show mandatory in observe (while you’ve already been lapped does it actually matter?), however I set my bikes up that method anyway as a result of that’s the way you have been purported to do it, and the profit is that immediately I actually don’t have a lot hassle switching between bikes with right-front braking and left-front braking as a result of they each appear pretty regular to me.

I may additionally bunny-hop respectably in my BMX days, too–although I doubt I may have cleared a sawhorse.

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