Do you ever get up delighted by the sheer great thing about the world and brimming with gratitude on your place in it?
Me neither–at the very least not till after I’ve gone to the toilet.
However, it’s nothing in need of inspirational to see aged appearing individual Harrison Ford stalking the California coast in full Fred mode:
And right here he’s, driving what I assume from the huge girth of its downtube to be an e-bike:
To be completely clear, I begrudge no octeganerian octaganarien eighty year-old his mechanical tailwind. At his age and together with his cash he doesn’t must be on the market driving a motorbike on the open highway–and but there he’s anyway, presumably giving motorists who go too intently the finger and yelling, “Fuck you, I’m Harrison Ford!” So I’m guessing he should actually like to trip.
Even so, the sight of him on that factor does make him a robust contender for the 2025 Simply Purchase A Rivendell Already Award, particularly as a result of these earthy hues and leather-and-cotton equipment would go so properly together with his Indiana Jones costume:
In truth if Indiana Jones had given up journey archeology after the primary film, moved to northern California, and spent most of his time driving bikes, he’d look just about precisely like Grant Petersen.
All of that is to say that I believe we’re all on the identical web page right here. So can we do it? Can we get Harrison Ford on a Rivendell? To make a willpower, we should first decide his Rivendell-worthiness. And he does fly (and sometimes crash) classic airplanes, which is an excellent signal:
If he’s nonetheless not afraid of old-timey plane then what’s stopping him from driving lugged metal bikes with friction shifters?
Now, along with the Cannondale e-bike, Ford additionally rides a Colnago:
This will or will not be signal. On one hand, that bike is as un-Rivendellian because it will get. However alternatively, it’s a Colnago, and perhaps the truth that he opted for a storied Italian model signifies that subconsciously he’s pining for one thing extra.
Much more encouragingly, he has at the very least tried to trip a Specialised S-Works in regular garments:
Although very similar to his crash touchdown on a golf course, it seems to have led to frustration:
However wait–is that the battery for the rear derailleur by his proper shoe?!?
The look says all of it:
[“Oh for chrissakes.”]
Exasperation with battery-powered shifting?!? Okay, perhaps he’s prepared for a Rivendell. And most significantly, he’s step-through curious:
Although that picture seems to have been taken awhile in the past, so maybe the window has closed.
Talking of batteries and footwear, on a sure degree you all the time knew it was coming. That’s proper, it’s an electrical bike on your toes:
- Nike’s Undertaking Amplify is the world’s first powered footwear system for working and strolling, designed to assist on a regular basis athletes* go a bit of bit quicker and farther — all with much less effort.
- Engineered to reinforce pure decrease leg and ankle motion, the Undertaking Amplify system breaks the notion of risk by offering an unparalleled increase to anybody who desires to maneuver, creating a brand new future for working, jogging and strolling.
- Nonetheless early in testing, Nike is mixing artwork and science to achieve efficiency readiness, working alongside robotics accomplice Dephy to convey the footwear system to a broad client launch within the coming years.
So that they went from “Simply Do It” to “We’ll Do It For You.”
At first I assumed this was for folks with disabilities or accidents, which might after all be a welcome innovation. However no, it’s simply to make strolling and working simpler for lazy folks. See, it’s all about enjoyable!
“Our job is to dream huge whereas conserving athletes on the middle,” says Michael Donaghu, VP of Create The Future, Rising Sport and Innovation. “Undertaking Amplify began with a single query: What if we may discover a means to assist athletes transfer quicker and farther with much less vitality and much more enjoyable? At its core, Undertaking Amplify is about seamlessly including a bit of extra energy to your stride. The enjoyable comes from realizing you are able to do greater than you thought you might — no matter ‘extra’ means to you.”
Akin to how electrical bikes have made it simpler to trip farther and extra often, revolutionizing city commuting, Nike is growing Undertaking Amplify to make slower working, jogging and strolling simpler and extra enjoyable, with a concentrate on athletes working between a 10- and 12-minute mile tempo.
By the best way, in the event you scroll up a bit, you’ll notice Nike locations an asterisk* subsequent to the phrase “athlete” in these bullet factors, and right here’s what that denotes:
Wow, they’ve actually lowered the bar. This confirms my deepest worry. At this level it received’t be lengthy earlier than having a bodily physique is merely a life-style alternative, and most of us will merely have uploaded ourselves to some gazillion-terabyte information cloud for all eternity…if we are able to afford it.
“You’ve reached the restrict of your present storage plan. Improve now or be deleted.”
Although I suppose you might at the very least get by for awhile longer by deleting the frivolous recollections about snack meals and film quotes and stuff…