I’ve obtained a bone to choose with Ms. Greta:

How dare me? How dare you! I assumed the planet was boiling and the glaciers had been melting and that by now my youngsters wouldn’t know what snow seems to be like and I’d be dodging falling coconuts in February. But this winter’s kicking the crap out of us. So what provides!?!

Yeah yeah, I do know what you’re going to say. “That’s not how local weather change works!” Oh, spare me. I WAS PROMISED A SEARING-HOT FUTURE AND THAT’S WHAT I WANT!!! I’m bored with icy winds, and frozen, blighted landscapes, and squinting because the snow cowl redirects the rays of the solar straight into my retinas:

Oh, don’t get me improper, I’m making the very best of it. When the paths are frozen and I’m heading out on the Roadini:

And when the snow is deep and the roads are a large number I’m on the market on the be-fendered Homer:

However the older I get the extra interminable the winters appear. Maybe I have to retire to some biking paradise with a light local weather, just like the Mediterranean, or Frederick, MD:

The place “On a regular basis Ray” has ridden his bicycle each single day for over seven* years:

*[Note to Intern: check that math.]
So is he possessed of an unusual fortitude? Or is Frederick merely a biking paradise?

Oh, and when you’re questioning, On a regular basis Ray owns six bikes, and one among them’s a Seven:

So I assume you would say he’s all sixes and Sevens.

Sorry.
In any case, neither snow nor rain nor warmth nor fool motorist stays this Frederick Fred from the swift completion of his appointed trip:

Good for him, and lengthy could he cycle–although it does happen to me that there isn’t any simpler partner to cuckold than a bicycle owner, given our totally reliable every day disappearances. The truth is, a few of us even share our precise location always to make it even simpler!

And but few of us assume to do the identical with our bikes, although it’s most likely not a foul concept:

Apparently an AirTag led police proper to the placement:

I used to be after all extra taken with studying about this “one-of-a-kind bicycle,” which turned out to be a Pivot Firebird:

I’m completely out of it relating to suspension bicycles, so I headed over to the Pivot website to see what it was all about:

I rapidly realized that that is the best bicycle when you’re trying to don a full-face helmet and hump the watermelon:

I additionally watched this extremely informative video:
From which I realized the Firebird boasts a trunnion-mounted something-or-other that appears just like the bike has an oil derrick in its crotch:

I don’t know what any of these phrases imply, however presumably the factor within the center is the Johnson rod:

I assume I’ve vehicles on the mind since I’ve been making an attempt to diagnose a examine engine gentle on my growing older four-wheeled inner combustion recumbent, and I’ve gotten about so far as getting the code:

This narrows it down significantly, since based mostly on my analysis this code can imply something from the fuel cap is simply too free to the engine’s about to blow up. So naturally I’ve tightened the fuel cap and am hoping for the very best, as a result of if it’s something extra difficult than that then I’m out of my depth.
Fuck it, I’m leasing a Hyundai