Simplicity.
A path:
A motorbike:
A gear, or possibly two:
What extra do you want?*
*[In my case you also need like eight other bikes, but I’m going to keep acting all self-righteous about my phony commitment to simplicity anyway.]
Nicely, it seems you want lots. I lately joked about “needing a dropper put up to your dropper put up’s dropper put up,” however little did I understand how shut we had been, for a reader has alerted me to the existence of this:
It’s referred to as the SwitchGrade, and it’ll “unlock the total potential of your dropper seatpost:”
How does it do that? By letting you alter your saddle angle relying on the terrain. Right here’s a rider in abject distress as a result of he couldn’t angle his saddle down earlier than the massive climb:
See how the nostril of his saddle goes proper up his ass in consequence?
Ouch!
Now right here’s a rider who might optimize his saddle angle due to the miracle of SwitchGrade:
It nonetheless goes up his ass, however as an alternative of violating him roughly it gently massages his prostate:
Ahhh, that’s higher.
Simply ask Josh Harris, mountain biker and physician of proctology:
Hey, I’m not anti-tech or anti-capitalism. Fairly the other–we’re very lucky to reside in a society wherein folks have the luxurious of buying a $255 seatpost head:
Certainly, whether or not it’s bike elements, or prostate massagers, or just about any luxurious merchandise you possibly can consider, the array of what’s out there to us in the present day on the push of a digital button is actually dazzling, and a reminder that we’re much better off than any people who’ve come earlier than us.
[Intern: insert affiliate link for prostate massager above, no pun intended.]
Nonetheless, philosophically talking, I need to query what it’s precisely we’re doing right here. How a lot of the bike has to maneuver, precisely? At what level do you cease adapting the bike to swimsuit the terrain and easily settle for it for what it’s? And at what level does this contraptions stop to be a motorcycle? First the bike was too inflexible, and we made it so the entrance wheel might go up and down. Then that made us notice that the again wheel didn’t go up and down too, so we solved that too. Subsequent got here the seat, which we arrange so it might telescope. (Sure, I’m willfully omitting the Hite Ceremony right here.) However what good is that should you can’t additionally change your saddle angle? This in flip will solely make it essential to invent a tool that enables on-the-fly handlebar angle adjustment, and width adjustment, and finally you’ll even be capable of change your tire stress whilst you’re using. (Oh wait, that’s already a factor.) And that’s not even addressing motors! I nightmares concerning the types of battery-powered articulating monstrosities our descendants will in the future be using.
I imagine that, as a species, humanity ought to by no means resign itself to its destiny. We should always proceed to evolve and to innovate. Certainly, our innate urge to push and to discover and to transcend is the very essence of what it means to be human, and we should always all the time try to defy our limitations.
Nonetheless, I additionally imagine that as cyclists we should always do the precise reverse. For chrissakes, simply suck it up! Typically the path’s too bumpy. Typically the climb’s too onerous. Typically your saddle place isn’t totally optimum. How totally free from any type of problem or adversity or minor inconvenience does your goddamn trip need to be?!?
Or effective, simply get the seatpost thingy, no matter works for you.