So the opposite day I posted about fellow ageing bike Web character Lucas Brunelle, after which yesterday the YouTubes served me this:
Oh, Lucas.
Lucas, Lucas, Lucas.
Initially, with all due respect, from one ageing rider to a different, you’re like 75 years previous. What the hell are you doing along with your levers?
Look, I get it, slim bars and turned-in levers are at present modern amongst roadies. However don’t attempt to copy the youngsters. You’re sufficiently old to know that from about 1998 to love 2010 or thereabouts, highway racing handlebar setups truly made sense–you used bars that had been a centimeter or two wider than what individuals had been driving within the downtube shifter days, which gave you additional stability and leverage. And naturally you oriented your levers roughly parallel to one another and never all cockeyed like Señor Hacer de Manos right here:
Now everybody’s driving teeny bars and turning their levers in. Effective. Once more, if the kiddies wish to try this as a result of it makes them barely extra aero no matter then good for them. However for chrissakes, you’re an ideal grandfather! Do you shrink the font dimension in your e-reader as you become old? No you don’t! Then why would you deliberately make your bike harder to experience? So you possibly can lay it down making a totally peculiar left-hand activate a suburban highway?
Why the hell is the godfather of outlaw biking movies, who has chased a few of the world’s craziest cyclists via a few of the world’s craziest streets, wiping out on the entrance to an out of doors furnishings retailer on a solo experience?
I imply positive, they do have all the things you want on your outside residing space, however nonetheless:
And fantastic, there was a bit of little bit of gravel:
However that will not have been an issue if solely he’d been driving an age-appropriate bicycle as an alternative of this…factor:
Significantly, levers apart, an 86 year-old man shouldn’t have a saddle-to-bar drop like that. Everybody is aware of that the decrease your balls grasp the upper your bars needs to be. Good grief Lucas, you need to be monitoring the speed of enhance of your scranus-to-testicle differential carefully at your age and elevating your bars inversely, I believed this frequent data!
Why do you suppose Ol’ Man Branson switched to flat bars?
[Branson’s hang so low he gets road rash on his scrotum.]
Sadly Lucas just isn’t listening to the universe, which is telling him in no unsure phrases to Simply Purchase A Rivendell Already. As an alternative he tries to show his crash right into a instructing second and provides the world’s worst lesson in turning, reducing heedlessly throughout two lanes of site visitors:
Why does he provoke his left turns from the far proper aspect of the highway as an alternative of shifting over to the left first?
Was he simply driving alongside when he was out of the blue overcome by an intense want for a brand new patio eating set?
Appears to me he needs to be getting in on the Platypus presale as an alternative.