Honking Mad – Bike Snob NYC


As a semi-professional bike blogger, I do my breast to remain abest of the newest cycling-related information:

[Story is here, but don’t click, the site’s a nightmare.]

This specific incident started when one older gentleman admonished one other to “get a horn,” and that type of impudence is not going to stand, by gosh!

The article doesn’t specify what method of “cussing” ensued, but when solely the sufferer had used a correct horn all the episode may need been averted:

[Only $24.70 on a popular online auction site! I’m getting one for each of my Rivendae.]

As cyclists, we’ve all skilled unsolicited commentary from pedestrians and different street customers, and essentially the most frequent one I’ve heard through the years by far is “Get a helmet!,” or “The place’s your helmet?,” or some variation thereof. Subsequent comes the bell-related complaints, with half the complainants offended at me as a result of I didn’t ring a bell, and the opposite half offended as a result of I did ring a bell. It’s an actual guessing sport in terms of bell-ringing since you actually don’t know the way persons are going to react, and till you really do it (or don’t) you’ve obtained an actual Schrödinger’s Cat scenario in your arms in that the pedestrian is concurrently grateful and aggravated. The final time this occurred to me was significantly irritating as a result of I used to be so certain I’d guessed proper–some man was taking over a great portion of the trail together with his canine, and so I gave advance warning by sounding my bell earlier than I handed. This despatched him right into a rage, and he knowledgeable me angrily that I may have mentioned “In your left” as an alternative.

Go determine.

As of but I’ve by no means been informed to get a horn, however ultimately I’m certain I’ll encounter somebody who’s livid that I’m not driving round like Harpo Marx:

However staying on prime of the media isn’t simply concerning the newest altercation. There’s additionally staying on prime of the newest merchandise, which is particularly tough if you don’t care about any of them. Plus, I’m simply confused. For instance, is this headline a typo or a pun?

I resent the reference to “yesteryear’s panache.” There’s a preferred notion within the biking world that merely making a motorbike out of metal immediately makes it “basic” or imbues it with “heritage” or one thing:

Sorry, simply because it has a lug doesn’t make it a “throwback to how racing bikes was once.” It’s a contemporary street bike with discs. The fabric is secondary. These of us who’re cranky and ornery and caught prior to now don’t settle for it. I imply it appears like a pleasant bike and all, however you’re not one in every of us. Go stand over there with the remainder of the PNS jerseys:

I’m additionally not impressed by any of this:

Most if not all bikes are completed, and what do I care of the builder had assist alongside the best way? As for “carbon footprint,” I don’t care about that both. I hope Grant’s not studying this, but when Rivendell needed to kill one (1) whale for each bike they made I’d nonetheless journey one.

Principally.

They usually might stroll the tubes throughout the road or no matter over there at Cinelli, however except they’re additionally strolling the bike to your home after it’s completed what the hell distinction does that make?

Then once more it does examine favorably to different extra confusingly-named bikes, although it’s “transmissive of street texture:”

I’m unsure what meaning, however it is best to use both a condom or a dental dam whereas driving it simply to be protected.

One other bike that will get an excessive amount of credit score for being metal is the Ritchey Highway Logic:

Positive, this one really has rim brakes and is pretty conventional, although they needed to blow it with the plastic fork and the built-in headset:

I imply it’s an actual disgrace. Why would they do this? It makes the pinnacle tube seem like a snake that’s swallowed an egg:

Then there are the tales that actually make you suppose:

Sadly we’re all too used to studying about fellow cyclists dying, however I actually didn’t count on to learn this:

I’ve definitely been stung whereas driving, and I’ve additionally swallowed loads of bugs, however till now this chance had by no means even occurred to me.

It’s necessary to remain protected, however there’s solely a lot you are able to do, and it’s equally if no more necessary to take advantage of out of daily.

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