Reality Is Stranger Than Friction – Bike Snob NYC


Gravel–or as we now comprehend it, GRVL:

The “taxonomy to categorize the phenotype of bicycles whose look is altered by demand or terrain” is without doubt one of the best mental challenges of our time, however one factor’s for sure, and it’s that you simply want a $600 cassette with a purpose to experience it:

Yeah, that’s proper, the SRAM RED ASSPLR cassette is $600:

SRAM RED ASSPLR is nothing lower than the last word gravel drivetrain, and it would put all of your power into the experience:

In fact should you’re not knowledgeable gravel influencer it would additionally take away all of your cash out of your checking account, however you may’t put a worth on “Full Mount Resilience:”

That sounds extremely soiled, and never within the “gravel mud accumulating in your embrocated legs” manner.

I ought to reiterate that I’ve no drawback with bicycle and part firms designing envelope-pushing tools for racing and charging a number of cash for it. No one’s making you purchase SRAM RED ASSPLR ASS. I suppose there’s a hazard that because the ASS-PLSV expertise trickles down and turns into cheaper and extra ubiquitous you gained’t be capable to get a motorbike that doesn’t require batteries and firmware updates, however given the very fact I’m having no points protecting a bike from 1982 on the street I select to stay optimistic that you simply’ll be capable to function steel bikes with cables and rim brakes for years to return.

Nonetheless, $600 is loopy, and little question far exceeds the overall value of my very own custom-curated DRTBG GRVL DRVTRN:

The brains of the operation is (are?) the Silver shifters:

With no firmware updates they’ll shift throughout as few or as many cogs as you need, and whereas they don’t include “blips” you may mount them in quite a lot of areas on the bicycle.

At present I’m utilizing them with an 8-speed cassette:

Why 8-speed? As a result of the identical firm that may promote you a $600 cassette additionally presents an 8-speed cassette which you’ll usually get on the road for like $15:

Granted, it doesn’t go as little as the ASSPLR, however due to Superior Friction Shifting Expertise™ should you want these winch gears you should use them to function the brand new cutting-edge triple cranks, which strikes the bottom gears from the rear of the bike to the entrance at a a lot decrease whole value to the patron (and that features the seat tube-mounted chain-moving gadget):

It’s straightforward to freak out over the state of the biking trade, however when you think about that with an 11-speed Hyperglide hub and a pair of friction shifters you select from amongst an extremely broad number of cassettes, chains, cranks, and derailleurs pretty indiscriminately, and if promoting $600 cassettes to gravelistas is permitting SRAM to proceed promoting $15 cassettes to dirtbags then I’m okay with it.

In different information, 10 years in the past Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. left a bear and a motorbike in Central Park:

He mentions the information tales about folks getting killed on the time, so I suppose he was riffing on the hilarity of Jill Tarlov’s dying, which occurred that very same yr:

So principally a bunch of wealthy drunk assholes from Westchester who’d simply stuffed themselves at Peter Luger dumped a useless bear and a motorbike in Central Park to riff on the dying of a girl who received killed by a bike owner.

Stylish.

In fact the actual query is, “What about that bike?” I suppose this will need to have been an enormous native story on the time, however I’ve no recollection of it, and it looks like the information tales on the time make no point out of a motorbike:

So what sort of bike was it? Was it a pleasant bike? Did somebody discover a bike on a bear carcass and experience off on it? And the place is that bike immediately?

Alas, we might by no means know.

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