I spend lots of time on this net presence whining about what’s taking place to bicycles: the plastic; the batteries; the relentless gravelization. However what concerning the bicycle media? Effectively…
Imagine it or not, I’m not a technophobe. Certain, I don’t look after disc brakes and wi-fi derailleurs on my bicycles, however I exploit mobile telephones and transportable computing units and digital books and all the remainder of it, and other than social media, which is unequivocally unhealthy, I feel these things has improved our lives tremendously.
I’m not even freaked out about AI. Certain, I do know some individuals suppose the computer systems will take over and make us their slaves, however I believe that on reflection our fears will appear quaint. For instance, in the event you’re sufficiently old, it’s possible you’ll keep in mind when Photoshop appeared like the top of the world. “How will we even know what’s actual!?!” However who the hell worries about Photoshop now? It’s simply one other program, like MS Paint. The very fact is we had no concept what was actual or not even earlier than Photoshop (I imply they completely faked the moon touchdown, John F. Kennedy’s assassination, and Elvis’s demise with out it, proper?), so making it a bit simpler to take the zits off a style mannequin didn’t actually make a lot of a distinction. And if AI means I can get a fast reply to a easy query from customer support as an alternative of ready on maintain for 20 minutes, I say convey it on.
The above however, this sounds horrendous:
A typical workflow for Stuart, because the solo editor of Velora Biking, may begin with an concept chosen from the system’s recognized developments. He can then feed the idea into the system’s options pipeline, which fleshes it out with background analysis and supply validation, a course of he mentioned he and Bellion have fine-tuned to be consistent with the specified output.
So the system identifies the developments, then writes concerning the developments, and people articles grow to be sources for extra articles about developments? Wouldn’t this end in some endlessly self-perpetuating pattern suggestions loop that has no foundation in any way in actuality?
Oh, wait, by no means thoughts, that’s been taking place since like 1989.
In any case, this AI-powered biking web site is already up and working, so I went and checked it out, and up to now it’s not a lot horrifyingly dystopian as it’s obscenely boring:
On one hand, you learn increasingly more about AI-driven psychosis and suicide, and however you’ve acquired the exquisitely soporific “The perfect bike flooring pumps in 2025.” Will AI’s affect on society be devastating or merely stultifying? I suppose we’ll have to attend to search out out…if we will maintain ourselves awake.
Talking of bikes and tech, wi-fi braking is now inevitable:
Certain, like AI it might sound scary, however there’s a security change, and I can’t wait to see Fred drift off the again of the pack and glide slowly to a cease as a result of he forgot to cost his brakes. Hopefully he’s acquired a PNS jersey pocket full of additional batteries, or else he’s calling his spouse to come back get him.
I’ll confess I do like the thought of not having to take care of fluids and bleeding if I have to make a change to my bicycle:
However then I keep in mind I don’t must take care of fluids and bleeding on any of my bicycles now as a result of all of them use mechanical brakes.
Whew!
However what I actually need to know is whether or not “The Biking Week” is an actual web site, or if it’s simply AI? I’ve by no means heard of it earlier than, and right here’s all they must say about themselves:
That certain sounds pretend, so I went in for a better look:
Actually the photographs within the article look like AI-generated:
It’s not unhealthy as this stuff go, and little question each Cervélo proprietor has an trade just like the one above on a weekly foundation:
Him: “What? Keep house with you? I have to journey day by day, I want to keep up my health!”
Her: “Health for what? You suck!”
Since this running a blog platform additionally has an AI picture generator I figured I’d see the way it compares, so I instructed it to create one for an “overzealous biking dork getting shit from his upset spouse.” Right here is the end result:
It actually upped the ante by together with the mother-in-law.
As for the story itself, AI generated or not, it was definitely intriguing:
The couple met in Chicago and married in 2007. At first, his health habits have been average principally commuting by bike. However early indicators of imbalance appeared whereas they have been courting.
On a go to to Katrina in Australia, he spent a major quantity simply to move his bike on the airplane.
A turning level got here throughout a biking vacation within the UK. Katrina, hoping to share in his ardour, imagined they might journey collectively to Land’s Finish.
The fact was harsher: her husband’s aggressive drive pushed him far forward, usually leaving her to journey alone.
It might appear silly to fly all the way in which to Australia with a motorcycle when you possibly can simply hire one, however it’s truly fairly shrewd on Fred’s half, since after two or three extra flights he’ll have made a robust case for a customized bike with S&S couplers:
That’s the AI’s tackle “overzealous biking dork attempting to persuade his spouse he wants a customized journey bike by displaying her many spreadsheets and pie charts.” Hey, that is straightforward! Possibly that Velora man is onto one thing. Hopefully at some point I can flip this entire weblog over to the AI so I can sit again all day and gather my UBI.
In the meantime, again to the story, which takes an surprising flip:
Katrina attended to help him however felt bored and disconnected, her presence largely unnoticed.
The interest had morphed into an obsession, dictating schedules, eclipsing shared time, and eroding intimacy.
Makes an attempt to affix in, together with shopping for a tandem bike, failed he discovered the slower tempo irritating, leaving the bike unused and symbolic of their rising divide.
Even spinning lessons bolstered the sample.
Befriending one other male bike owner, he immersed himself additional, normalizing his obsessive conduct.
Eroding intimacy? Befriending one other male bike owner? I feel one thing else is occurring right here.
In any case, the couple separated in 2012, and the date on this story is November twenty sixth, 2025. Additionally, that disc brake story has been kicking round for like a yr or one thing, so presumably the AI that generates “The Biking Week” nonetheless must be skilled to not regurgitate tales which might be greater than every week previous:
The couple separated in 2012, although they continued dwelling collectively briefly as a consequence of London’s excessive value of dwelling.
As for Fred, not solely did he lastly discover ways to embrace his true self, however he ultimately gained the yellow jersey, so who’s laughing now?
Lastly, does Pas Regular biking clothes not have sufficient PNS for you? Effectively, now there’s TRS PNS!
Not solely does it have triple the PNS, however in addition they make working shorts:
I’m assuming all this clothes is designed by AI.