Increase your hand when you’ve ever been informed you’re “an excessive amount of.” Too loud. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too bold. Too… you.
For lots of girls, that’s the cue to begin shrinking. We tone down our voice, dim our fiery nature, and sand down the sharp, stunning edges that make us who we’re—all within the determined hope of being accepted. We be taught to censor our jokes, disguise our massive goals, and put a lid on our emotions as a result of we’re afraid our real selves can be rejected.
However right here’s the tough-love, liberating fact: the fixed effort to make your self smaller is exhausting … AND it’s additionally the #1 cause you’re feeling so drained and caught in less-than-stellar relationships.
Leaning into your genuine self and proudly proudly owning your “too much-ness” is definitely your secret weapon. It’s the one technique to construct the high-quality connections you deserve—and at last dial down your stress for good.
The Downside With Shrinking Your self
Consistently enhancing your self to be extra palatable is a one-way ticket to burnout. On prime of holding again the actual you, you’re expending an enormous quantity of psychological and emotional power to take action.
Each time you chew your tongue, fake a joke was funnier than it was, or swallow your true emotions, you’re making a withdrawal out of your treasured power reserves.
This creates a quiet, insidious type of stress that lives simply beneath the floor, leaving you anxious and unfulfilled—even once you’re surrounded by individuals.
The reality? You’re basically in a relationship with a model of you that doesn’t even exist, and the individuals round you’re responding to that faux model. That, my pal, is a recipe for deep loneliness.
Your “Too A lot-ness” Is a Relationship Filter
While you cease apologizing to your enthusiasm, ardour, or massive, typically messy emotions, one thing unbelievable occurs: you begin attracting your soulmate relationships.
Friendships
This implies discovering soul-sisters who don’t simply tolerate your wild concepts—they’re those who say, “YES! And what if we did this subsequent?!” They cheer to your ambition as an alternative of seeing it as a risk. These friendships go deeper than surface-level chatter since you’re totally seen and understood with out judgment.
Partnerships
In love, this implies discovering a accomplice who celebrates your quirks and loves you for the particular person you’re—not the particular person you fake to be. The appropriate accomplice will encourage your boldest goals and by no means ask you to shrink for his or her consolation. (Bonus: they’ll match your bizarre.)
Communities
In your bigger group, it means surrounding your self with individuals who get it. Whether or not it’s your exercise group, e book membership, or a web-based area, you’ll discover circles the place your concepts are met with curiosity and pleasure, not well mannered nods and fast topic adjustments.
While you present up as your full, unapologetic self, you’re sending a transparent sign: That is who I’m. Take it or go away it. And the individuals who take it? They’re your individuals. Those who go away? They have been by no means meant for you anyway—and also you simply saved your self a ton of wasted time and power.
Why Proudly owning Your Genuine Self Reduces Stress
Embracing your “too much-ness” can be one of the crucial highly effective types of self-care. It’s a direct path to much less stress and extra peace.
While you’re now not policing each phrase you say or emotion you’re feeling, you release huge quantities of psychological bandwidth.
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As an alternative of agonizing over whether or not it’s best to ship your pal that nerdy article you really liked—you simply ship it, and so they get excited too.
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As an alternative of hiding your massive enterprise concept—you share it, and abruptly the precise connection seems.
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As an alternative of swallowing your frustration in a relationship—you talk your wants, and your accomplice rises to satisfy you.
That is what residing authentically seems like. It’s radical self-trust—and it not solely strengthens your relationships, it strengthens your relationship with your self.
Cease Shrinking, Begin Thriving
Being “an excessive amount of” will not be a flaw—it’s proof that you’ve a robust gentle to share with the world. Hiding it solely creates extra stress and loneliness.
Your distinctive mix of enthusiasm, empathy, and ambition is the very factor that can entice your individuals.
So cease shrinking. Begin shining. And watch each your relationships and your peace of thoughts flourish.
What’s one a part of your self you’ve been holding again that you just’re able to lastly share with the world? – Alex
Need a Protected Area to Be Absolutely You?
In the event you’re prepared to satisfy your soul household TODAY and begin practising full expression in a protected teaching area, my Unfuckwittable Membership is the right place. There’s even a complete module on this very matter—so you’ll be able to apply it in actual life and really feel grounded when you do it. Study extra and be a part of our highly effective group right here.